Don’t tell anyone, but Counter Culture will be offering up steaming samples of Mario San Jose — one of the world’s most expensive cups of coffee — FOR FREE this Friday at noon during their weekly tasting series. The coffee, harvested by Hacienda la Esmeralda in Panama, is second only to Kopi Luwak in bucks per bean. Experts say that the flavor profile is such that one sip will have you crapping double rainbows like a civet on YouTube. (That’s taken directly from the Hacienda la Esmeralda Wikipedia entry.) To get in on that righteous Joseph action, follow your fellow coffee super-nerds to The Counter Culture Coffee New York Regional Training Center at 37 West 26th Street, Suite 400, which I believe is just one floor up from The Legion of Doom’s East Coast Quality Control Cabanas. Knock thrice, deliver the passphrase and you’ll be just steps away from what may be the most transformative lunch hour you ever take*.

If Esmeralda’s Mario San Jose blend is pleasing to your gold-plated palate, you’ll probably want to stop shining your spats for a minute and ask your driver to head directly over to the Ace Hotel’s Stumptown outpost to pick up a jar of Mario Carnaval, the estate’s most expensive blend at $75 per 12 ounce jar. $75 may sound like a lot for less than a pound of coffee, but that’s only because you’re poor.

Thanks to the NYT Diner’s Journal for the tip.

*There is no passphrase, and you probably don’t even have to knock.